Friday, March 20, 2009

The Truth!

Ok, I decided I have something to say about the wonders of pregnancy. People have been asking me, "So, how are you feeling?" and I usually reply, "Good, ya, fine"... Well, it's 3:48am and I just spent the last 30 minutes trying to rearrange my body into contorted positions on the floor and against the couch to relieve some of the pressure off my pelvic area - Are you sure you really want to know how I'm feeling???

To begin,
I have aching hips and thighs from only being able to lie on my sides while trying to sleep - I have recurring pinching and poking sensations on my bladder that are sharp and make me leak little squirts of pee at random times of the day and night - my lady-parts are swollen to 5 times their regular size that feel like balloons filled with blood ready to pop - I have skin and muscle stretched so taut that I feel prickly burning sensations of impending ripping and tearing beneath my ribs - I have the most tender and eye-squinting case of hemorroids due to the fact that a regular bowel movement seems like an unattainable dream - I have heartburn that singes my throat constantly - I have uncontrollable facial acne like I'm 15 years old again and hair that falls out and lies limply...

I guess I'm done. Sitting here to write this isn't making me feel any less uncomfortable, so I might as well return to bed to toss and turn, try to sleep through my grumpiness instead of complain on a Blog.


  1. You are too cute!! HAHAHAHAHA!!! Ahh..the joys at the END of pregnancy!
    Well I will bring the ball on Sunday and hopefully you'll be able to find the rasberry tea!
    It's almost done Kelli!

  2. LOL--my first thought was exactly what the first person commented..oh the joys of pregnancy! Hang in there chica, you're almost there! I love your blog-you are so funny! Thanks for sharing. See you in church--or maybe not if you go into labor...I'm thinking you are hoping for the latter. You're in my prayers either way ;)

  3. I knew it! Thanks for being honest.

  4. I am hoping for you that this baby makes his appearance soon! :)